Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Time to Party?

Today is Fat Tuesday. In my case, this is the day between Fat Monday and Fat Wednesday. But New Orleans' case, the day is by no means mundane. It, along with all of Mardi Gras, is a time to celebrate all things New Orleans: the rich culture, the city's heritage, the city's diverse population. Amanda and I were discussing whether the Mardi Gras celebrations were appropriate given the state of the area post-Katrina. I thought the excess of the celebration might be a little disrespectful to all those who still have nothing. We ultimately decided that we thought it should go on. It can help the area normalize, can have a positive economic impact and in some ways can be therapeutic to the citizens. I then read some things online that made me think we were right. Residents likened cancelling Mardi Gras to cancelling Christmas after a tragedy; you just wouldn't do it. They also likened the last six months to a New Orleans Jazz funeral; it starts out somber, but eventually turns into a soulful, music filled celebration of life. Hopefully New Orleans is back on its way to being healed. This was one of the blogs that I read that had some of the positive comments. It is kind of interesting to read residents thoughts on the subject.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Countdown

I have recently been trying to watch more of MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olberman(weeknights 8pm). He first came across my radar when he and Dan Patrick anchored the Sportscenter's Big Show in the mid-90's. They were hilarious together and really took the chemistry and banter to a new level when doing the highlights. Although, they were the forefathers of today's bloated, bad catchphrase, hype machine Sportscenter, so maybe I should hate Keith Olberman instead.

Anyway, on Countdown Olberman covers current events, odd stories and weird events with his sharp wit and slightly demented point of view. He is sarcastic, irritable and often very funny. Sometimes he is a bit sanctimonious and his views run more liberal than mine, but he makes me laugh and even sometimes makes me think. Check it out.

Bork, Bork-Go Crazy Sweden, You Just Struck Gold!


I wish that everyone that has been a casual hockey fan or who has even shown an interest in hockey could have watched Sunday's Olympic gold medal game featuring Sweden versus Finland. The game was so action-packed that I believe it could have converted many fence-sitters into full blown fans. I maintain that, unlike some sports, hockey is best when viewed in person. But if you can't be there live, then I think a game like yesterday's was the next best thing. It had a little bit of everything: Strong goaltending, wide open end-to-end action, a few big hits, smooth passing and a frantic Finnish finish.

The two young goaltenders, Antero Niitymaki and Henrik Lundquist, were tremendous. I can't remember any amazing, standing-on-their-head saves, but they made many tough saves through traffic using textbook positioning and quick reflexes. This type of goaltending is often overlooked and underappreciated. I was happy to see that Niitymaki's silver medal performance earned him tournament MVP.

I was also impressed with the energy of the two teams despite the fact that each was playing their eighth game in twelve days. Finland's Niklas (Don't call me Larry) Hagman was a hummingbird buzzing all over the ice all game long. Peter Forsberg belted Ruutu early in the game setting the physical tone. I love watching Forsberg play. He can score, deftly pass, deliver big hits and I'm not sure that there is a better stickhandler in traffic anywhere in the world. As fun as it is to see a player deek somebody out of their shorts, I prefer to watch a player like Forsberg dangle, cradle, tap and shield the puck as he picks his way through multiple defenders.

Most of all, the game was plain fun to watch. You had great players, a Finland TEAM (a novel approach don't you think USA and Canada?) not expected to play that deep into the tourney, loud chanting fans, and excellent coverage and production by NBC. I loved that the bronze and gold medal games were played without commercial interruption. Fewer TV timeouts=better flow= better hockey. I could also get used to waking up to live Sunday morning hockey. Apparently nobody watches the NHL in primetime; why not weekend AM games. Finally, the game had an exciting conclusion that wasn't decided until Sweden cleared their zone with just a few seconds to play. Since I had no rooting interest overall, I was pulling hard for Finland to tie it up, just so I could see some OT or even a shootout. The game was so great I wasn't ready for it to be over. So pass the swedish meatballs, the swedish fish and anything else remotely Swedish that I can moronically squeeze into this post. It's time to celebrate the gold.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A few funny things I saw and heard this week.


These things made me laugh. But I'm a dope, so you may disagree:

1) While watching The Dukes of Hazzard (tv rerun, not movie) I happened to have the sound off, so the closed captions were running on the bottom of the screen. Roscoe P. Coltrain uttered his trademark chuckle(?) which was spelled "GHKUH-GHKUH" on the captioning. I had never considered how this might have been spelled in print, but I cracked up when I saw this. Absurd and hilarious. Yes, it doesn't take much to entertain me.

2) My wife saw a T-shirt that read: Libertarian- No longer voting for the lesser of two evils.

3) Line of the week: Pardon The Interruption co-host Tony Kornheiser, when asked about the absurdity of twelve psychics being brought in to help find a missing show dog:"Twelve psychics- good; big hunk of raw meat- better."

4) Watching Wayne Gretzky spit and stare at the floor, looking like he was going to vomit during the waning moments of Canada's loss to Russia on Wednesday.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

One Tough Mama

http://espn.go.com/outdoors/general/news/2006/0221/2338668.html

My Fast isn't so Fast

My favorite new ad campaign is Volkswagen's Make Friends With Your Fast commercials. In them, guys are tempted by a little black speed demon that encourages them to drive fast even at the expense of other things like making their wives happy. My favorite shows a guy not letting his girlfriend roll up the window and then, when she continues to complain, telling her that he can't enjoy the drive with all the "yakety-yak". I saw another funny one tonight that showed a cop with a My Fast wearing aviator/cop sunglasses. Silly, but funny. Just like I like em.

I don't think they have the commercials on their website, but if you go here and click on "fast" you can see the speed demon(at least that's what I call him).

Doctors discover group of idiots that share same brain.

The Magic, Schwann's Man, The Boughner, The Boot, There I was.... On Ass, Dead Squirrel, Bob Melvin, Fred the Red, Cold.....Cold...Too Loud,Bean Soup Disaster....

Some people reading those phrases are laughing, some nodding knowingly, others are perplexed. To many, these are random phrases. To those in the know, these are but some of the words that are part of a shorthand that my friends and I have unintentionally developed over years of shared experiences and shared memories. Let me explain.

While reading some of our recent blog posts and comments I realized that my group of friends and I really do talk in some sort of code. A point can be made and understood with very few actual words communicated. For example, we don't have to say "Hey, remember that time Chris broke those two dishes by throwing them in my sink and shouted "Two Plates". No, instead, all one of us has to say is "Two plates!" and it is immediately known what he is referring to. This comes from retelling and reliving (usually accompanied by much weary eye-rolling from wives who have heard the stories way too many times) the same old great stories over and over. It also stems from the fact that collectively we are a bunch of goofballs. And it's not just storytelling; we might be able to point out or relate an observation with one of the short phrases that, while technically not related, can make something immediately understood. (I can't think of an example, but trust me, it happens.)

On more than one occasion my friend Vaughn and I have had a conversation that will leave us howling with laughter while leaving our wives asking each other if they have any idea what we are talking about. In the same vein, I am convinced that some of my friends and I could have a conversation consisting entirely of movie dialogue and somehow communicate some relevant information. I guess I'm lucky to have good buddies with whom I can enjoy good times and relive the glory days. They will understand that I must now ABORT, ABORT!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Hope Springs Eternal

O's pitchers and catchers reported to spring training on Thursday.

YEAH BABY, BASEBALL IS BACK!
I can already taste the cold beer and feel the warm sun shining down on the centerfield bleachers at Camden Yards.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I hate that guy.

Has anybody else encountered The Annoying Waiter? You know the overly helpful, super-friendly, quick with a joke guy that acts like he's your best buddy from the moment that he takes your drink order.

Let me interrupt this post to assure everyone that this is not a slam against all waiters and waitresses. I know it is a thankless, often low paying job. I was a busboy at two different restaurants so I know the hellish days that wait staffs have to endure. Most servers are fantastic. Our waitress last night was perfect. She was friendly and attentive without being smothering. It was her neighbor in the adjacent section who was driving me nuts.

I watched The Annoying Waiter :

-Casually roll up to a table in a chair to check on his customers.
-While clearing an empty plate from one table, turn to another and say, "See ladies that's how it's done. No leftovers."
-Greet a booth filled by two women by tossing coasters onto the table from three feet away, plopping down on one of the benches and saying loudly, "I guess you guys are my next customers".
-And of course he was the one aggressively leading the happy birthday announcement and song in a restaurant that I always enjoyed because it was quiet and low-key. (Olive Garden)

As my wife correctly pointed out in so many words, I'm a knucklehead for letting something like this annoy me, especially when he wasn't even our waiter. But that's me, trying hard to sweat the small stuff that I have no control over.

What to do, what to do?

I figure if Killer can blog about his brush with death (very scary when you hear the details) and Rob T can blog about his testicular troubles( about which I know no details) that I can get serious for a bit. This isn't a plea for advice, although it is always welcome, but rather just a little venting/thinking out loud on my part.

I am having a bit of a career dilemma. I was recently promoted through no direct effort on my part. I was told my skills were needed in another branch and that it was put to me in a way that I didn't really feel like I wanted to ask what happened if I said no. So, I've been shipped to the Salisbury store and have been handed an office, a company car, more power and a pretty sweet raise. The company I work for is thriving, the benefits are great, I like the people I work with and for and the big boss treats his employees really well.

The problem? I really can't stand the type of work I do. I didn't really enjoy my previous position either, but I at least I had carved it into a managable, tolerable task. This new position demands a lot more estimating, project managing and working with other companies. In other words, it includes more time on the job and more headaches and stress. I possess the skills (or I am learning the ones I don't have) that the job requires, but there is a certain innate mechanical aptitude that helps in this kind of work. Unfortunately, I don't possess this. My brother inherited the math/science gene from my dad, grandfather and uncles. They can all visualize and understand the way things work, are laid out, etc. much better than I can. On top of this, my anxiety and social phobia (admittedly self-diagnosed, but I know its way more than just being shy) can sometimes make dealing with vendors and clents uncomfortable.

Some people would probably tell me to suck it up; work isn't supposed to be fun or enjoyable. Others would say that I should just quit and find a new job. And that leads to problem #2. Despite being 31 years old I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I am envious of friends(Killerand Brent, for example) who knew very early what they wanted to do and have accomplished just that. As far as I know, neither regrets their choice.

Since it is highly improbable that I will ever achieve any of my top three career choices (in no particular order: lottery winner, professional ice hockey player, best-selling author) I am left to ponder what I should do. I keep waiting for that light bulb to pop up over my head. I know once I have my inspiration I'll work hard to pursue it. But right now, I'm just not sure which direction to go. Everytime I get a little jazzed about an idea that stinging uppercut to the jaw called self-doubt knocks me back on my heels. Anyway, I'll stop babbling, I could go on like this for quite a long while. I guess I should just be thankful that I have a job. (And a great wife, supportive family and friends, my health, etc.) Things could be worse.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

My Mailman Would Never Wager


In response to Robert's blog post regarding Postal Service betting I decided to ask my mailman what he thought:

"Well....You see Normie.....wagering of any kind by United States Postal employees is strictly prohibited by the Federal Mail Code Article 2, Section 5 and it would, uh, certainly be frowned upon".

So there you have it.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Broad Street Bookie

Let me start by acknowledging that all of the charges that Rick Tochett is facing are ALLEGED. Now-Damn it Rick, what the hell were you thinking? I really couldn't give a shit if Rick Tochett blows his entire fortune on gambling or if he runs the most lucrative gambling ring on Earth. I don't care if he's prosecuted or if he broke no laws as he claims. I also don't mind sports betting in general. What I care about is the fact that by having whatever involvement he( and the 6-12 other former and current NHL players about to be named) has had in the illegal operation, he has given hockey another black eye just when it is trying to pull itself off the mat. (Timeout. That was one helluva cliche-filled run-on sentence. My apologies. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.)

Unfortunately, in today's media climate perception is reality. Rumors are already running rampant that players bet on hockey, that players provided insider information to gamblers and that money might have been laundered through current players via TVs and other expensive merchandise. Even the Great One, through his wife, has been associated with this mess. Even if none of this is true the NHL will have trouble shaking off the stink associated with gambling. Gambling, especially on the game, but also by players who may be vulnerable to outside pressures if their losses mount, strikes right at the integrity of the game. The NHL has walked out of one PR nightmare ( the lockout) into another.

I thought Tochett was a scumbag when he played, but I guess he was just getting warmed up (ALLEGEDLY).

FINALLY

The iceman cometh and he bringeth an ice rink to Salisbury. (Assuming that the reports are true. I mean we've never been down this road before have we? We've never gotten excited over rumors of a new facility, been to meetings, seen blueprints and heard promises only to have our hopes dashed, have we? )

At the risk of counting the chickens before they hatch, I'd like to pass on the announcement that was made on last night's local newscast. The Crown sports facility, a remodeled factory in Fruitland that already houses lots of indoor soccer courts, has announced that they are building an ice rink in their building. Being the skeptic that I am, I called the place for details. I got precious few details, but they did confirm that they are building a full size rink designed with ice hockey in mind. It is slated to to be ready in a couple of months; more details will be available closer to the completion date. Killer coaches soccer there sometimes so he is going to play detective to hunt up some more news. Anyway, it is very cool news, but I will believe it when I see it. Why do I feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick that damn football?

Monday, February 06, 2006

The man.

This link is to Bill Simmons' column on ESPN.com. I read it after writing my previous post( I swear) so know that I didn't rip him off of some of our shared thoughts. I included the link because his column is how I sometimes try to write. He just does it a whole lot better than I do.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060206

Not exactly saving the best for last.

Some observations from Super Bowl XL-

-First things first, Congrats to the Steelers for winning one for the thumb. It certainly wasn't pretty or easy to watch, but they are a tough team that earned this victory. They finished quite a run by winning three straight on the road and the Super Bowl. I would like to point out, however, how that run may have been quite shorter had Carson Palmer not had his knee wrecked on the Bengals' first play from scrimmage in the Wild Card round. We never will know what would have happened and it's likely the Steelers would have beaten Cincinatti anyway, but, like New England's tuck rule good fortune, it's a small detail that likely will be forgotten.

- It's nice to see that the NFL's poor post-season officiating carried over to the Super Bowl. I'm not saying that Pittsburgh was handed the game or that the refs cheated. Far from it. But I do think that the refs blew at least four huge calls :
-Darryl Jackson's offensive pass interference included less contact than many other plays that go unpenalized. If they called every play that tight we'd never see the end of a game.
-The phantom holding call that negated Seattle's big pass to the 1-yard line. Questionable.
-I don't think Big Ben got into the end zone on his touchdown run. To me it looked like he got as close to breaking the plane as possible without actually crossing it. As a fan who had no rooting interest, it would have been fun to see what Cowher did on 4th and 1. I do agree with the refs that once it was called a TD on the field that there wasn't indisputable replay evidence to overturn it.
-How in the world could they call Matt Hasselbeck for blocking below the waist when he made the tackle after his interception? This was probably the bad call that had the least impact, but it was the worst of the bunch.
A final word about the poor officiating-the Steelers fought through plenty of bad officating to reach the Super Bowl. Seattle simply didn't play well enough to overcome some bad breaks. So no crying in your lattes, Hawks fans.


-I don't think there is too much to say about the Rolling Stones halftime performance besides that they stunk. I'm not sure if it was them or ABC's feed, but they were constantly off-key. Mick Jagger cavorted around the stage like a sick chicken having a seizure. Not entertaining at all. And I like the Stones. I hope the fans who paid hundreds or thousands of dollars for a ticket to their recent stadium tour got a better performance than last night.


-I thought the commercials were pretty lackluster.I always look forward to the new ones, but last night left me dissapointed. That being said, there were some sweet highlights. I loved the old school feel; you really can't go wrong with MacGyver, Benny Hill's chase music or a cool voiceover from Adam West. I also laughed at Budweiser's lamb streaker and the lady on the airplane who ended up in the guy's lap after turbulence. Burger King actually found a way to make their creepy King head look normal- dress ladies as condiments and have them sing and dance. It was so bad that the Fruit of the Loom guys thought the commecrial was ridiculous. That burger dress was just plain nasty looking. Finally, my wife could do nothing but shake her head when I giggled as ABC touted their new show starring Rob ESTES. Yes, I know, it's immature and stupid, but his name makes me laugh every time. Wow, I really should grow up.

The saddest thing of all? No more meaningful football until Sept. (At least pitchers and catchers report next week.)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The State of the Union is.....Boring

I know I am a few days late on this, but I'd like to share a few brief thoughts on The Prez's speech.

-It was good to see The Bush Smirk was in full effect. I don't know if it is smug, defiant or just plain unnerving.

-I thought the Democrats were awfully disrespectful with their sarcastic cheer for not passing Social Security reform. This seemed out of place even in these contentious times. I half expected that side of the chamber to break out with a mocking, Daryl Strawberry-like taunt. " Duuuubbyaa, Duuuubbya, Duuuubbya " Love him or hate him, he is still the President and deserves at least a little respect.

-Sometimes I like to watch these speeches for presentation not content; I take the political affiliation out of it and judge it on the speech itself. This one, to me was rehashed and just plain boring. Tom Shales (a TV critic, not a political analyst) had some of the same thoughts on the address.

One for the thumb?

It doesn't even seem like it's Super Bowl Week to me. Maybe it's because the championship games stunk. Maybe it's because the Steelers and Seahawks are a couple of boring teams. Maybe it's because ESPN and every other sports outlet are beating it to death and I've tuned out almost completely.

That being said, it is the Super Bowl so I wanted to point out a couple of things and make my pick. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

-The only bit of "excitement" this week has been the over-hyped war of words completely manufactured by Joey Porter. Why this non-news leads Sportscenter is beyond me. I bet half of you can't even tell me which team Porter plays for. This wind bag needs to stow the trash talk and play football.

-This stupid tidbit has been talked about in many other places, but I thought it was dumb enough to repeat. In the never-ending quest to find inane trivia somebody figured out that this is the first Super Bowl where both coaches have moustaches. Awesome.

-I'm going to scream if I hear "Detroit Rock City" played one more time in relation to the big game. It's a great song, but my god, every show plays it every time they cut to Detroit. Are their no other songs about Detroit? There has to be some ballad about burning cars or drive-by shootings out there somewhere. Do me a favor; find it and play it instead of the KISS song for the billionth time.(Yes Killer, I counted.)

Anyway, onto the pick. Two strong(but boring) teams should play a close one. Whether it's a big catch or a crushing block, I think the under-rated Hines Ward will make a huge play that puts the Steelers over the top. Bill Cowher and his porn 'stache bring the Steel City ring number five (Only tying America's Team, by the way).

Steelers 23-Seahawks 17

Hey, did you guys know Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?

A Must See

While I don't think he has posted anything beyond a greeting yet, I imagine Roberto's blog will be something everyone will want to monitor. He's hands-down one of the funniest, most creative people I have ever met. But you may want to cover the kiddies' eyes; you never know what you may find.
Don't You Call Me A Mindless Philosopher