Bagged and Tagged.

Great news Orioles fans-with the dismissal of manager Sam Perlozzo all of the team's flaws are repaired. Now that he is not burdened with filling out line-up cards Perlozzo will move to the bullpen to pitch in relief whenever the new manager needs an arm. Even at age 57, Perlozzo should be able to help a pen that is 0-8 with an 8.00 ERA in June. And on the days he doesn't pitch, Perlozzo will surely club enough home runs to move the O's offense out of last place in that category. Brilliant!

All sarcasm aside, watching the slow, decade-long disintegration of my favorite sports team has been brutal. Add up all the Caps blown 3-1 leads to Pittsburgh, all the Cowboys' 5-11 seasons and every Duke loss to UNC and the hurt doesn't come close to the pain of witnessing this once proud ball team fade away. I can't imagine what it must be like for Brooks, Palmer, Ripken, etc. The organization is in such disarray that a change in managers is not nearly enough. Digging up Casey Stengel or Leo Durocher and popping them in orange and black wouldn't help at this point. Peter Angelos has run off so many credible baseball people (Pat Gillick, Davey Johnson, Frank Wren) and made so many stupid decisions (Albert Belle, Jon Miller, handcuffing his current baseball people) that fans have started wearing paper bags over their heads at Camden Yards. What? Are we the New Orleans Saints? If this losing continues much longer some long-time fans may ignore printed warnings and switch to plastic bags.

At this point, Cheney and Rumsfeld's post-war Iraq plan looks more coherent than any Orioles game plan. The front office has assembled a team that is not built to win any time soon. Beyond their young starting pitching and two position players (Brian Roberts and Nick Markakis) this team has no bright spots. They have invested in slow-footed DH-1B-LF clones Kevin Millar, Aubrey Huff and Jay Gibbons. Those three are essentially the same guy competeing for ABs. Unfortunately, neither of them is even worthy of the ABs. None provides the power numbers teams expect from those positions.

The upper management also invested in Corey Patterson and Melvin Mora, two journeyman veterans that parlayed a good season into a good paycheck. Last summer they passed on the opportunity to trade unhappy, but valuable SS Miguel Tejada. Now, their power hitting SS has only a handful of homers, diminshed range in the field and a whole lot less trade value than he did this time last year. Finally, the front office's crowning achievement was sinking $42 million into revamping a hapless bullpen. So what does $42 million buy you? A cornucopia of disasters:18 losses by the pen, tons of late-inning blown leads and those always devastating walk-off home runs. Any manager would be a fool to walk into this mess. Luck be with anyone who does.

The stupid part about all this is that , as I write this post, I am lamenting the fact that I haven't been to Camden Yards yet this season. Maybe I'm the one that needs help.