Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Revenge of the Machines.

I have previously established that I am a technophobe and believe that technology will bring doom to us all. Yep, someday the machines will band together, rise up and destroy us. (I tend to lash out at things I don't understand or with which I have no proficiency). It may be a self-fulfulling prophecy, my pessimism and worry bring about lots of those, but I think the electronic devices in my life are beginning the revolution. Sure, I know that my cell phone has been giving me brain cancer and that standing in front of the microwave is shrinking my balls, however, the recent glitches have me convinced there is an escalation.

In the last couple of days our computer mouse, cable box and internet service have all been on the fritz. Want more evidence? Since we've moved we've had major issues getting phone/internet service set up, the fridge started making an unearthly growl whose decibel count was matched only by the soaring temperature inside and I have broken not one, but two cell phones. Yesterday may have been the icing on the cake. I'm convinced the evil, intelligent Nintendo Wii was actively plotting my demise. First, it blunted my focus with the mind-numbingly boring Speed Racer game. Then when my defenses were down, the Wii attacked my elbow with way too many rounds of Wii bowling. That's right my arm is sore because I played too much VIDEO BOWLING. Thank goodness I bowl right-handed. Had I used my left, formerly bursitic elbow I might be hospitalized right now. Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but heed my warning-Keep an eye on your electronics because they have an optical lens on you.

4 comments:

  1. someone has been watching the matrix and terminator movies a little to much and don't blame your cell phone for your tumor thats why everyone else texts so much so it isn't near their head

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  2. Don't even go near a Wii Fit balance board. I could barely walk for 2 days after playing the stupid ski jump game for an hour.

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  3. Anonymous1:08 AM

    dude, we lost power for about 29 hours, and we just about went bat-shit-crazy; if that's not a demonstration of the Machines power, I don't know what is.

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  4. Your paranoia never fails to amuse me.

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