Like finally trying Chipotle, I have once again purchased a product that I should have purchased long ago. This product? None other than this generation's "underwear that's fun to wear": Under Armour Boxerjocks (I know, ridiculous name). This stuff isn't just for athletes. Now, I'm not decked out head to toe in their gear, but the underwear is great.
Stay with me here, I'll try to explain their greatness without being too graphic. As any guy knows steamy summer days can leave things awfully sticky/sloppy "down there". And when things get sticky/sloppy a certain amount of "rubbing/chafing" can occur. It's even more uncomfortable for fat guys who tend to, as David Letterman says, make their own gravy on a hot day. (If you are still reading, trust me, I thought about vetoing this post in favor of good taste, but ah, you know me.)
Anyway, you can kiss these maladies goodbye thanks to these boxers and their Performance Pouch Technology, strategic ventilation and anti-microbial technology. (Under Armour's copy writers must have a blast coming up with these goofy labels and advertising.) To borrow from their tagline "We Must Protect This House"-Now "down there" I am dry, airy and, most definitely, "protected".
Um, good for you? Ya, that was kind of gross!
ReplyDeleteOk, I've got one for you. The best kept underwear secret for women: Maternity underwear! Not just for pregnant women! They're like the ultimate bikini--hella low and comfy! I hope your wifey has checked them out.
Yeah, I suppose I could get the word out without being so disgusting, but where's the fun in that?
ReplyDeleteI am going to find these for Jon. He has been bummed out since the great red dot stopped carrying his favorite moisture-wicking drawers and shirts.
ReplyDeleteI must say ... very informational post. Not that I will be leaving my CK boxers for UA, but I might give them a try.
ReplyDelete*still cracking up about the rubbing/chafing*
if you wear CK boxers you have issues, but if you actually refer to calvin klein as CK then you need therapy immediately.
ReplyDeleteas far as the underwear in question, i'm gonna give it a shot...nothing worse than a case of swamp ass in the summer heat!!
Why do you have "issues" if you wear Calvin Klein underwear or need therapy if you refer to them as CK?
ReplyDeleteHonestly Killer, sometimes you say the most nonsensical things. I'm pretty sure Stephen's girlfriend is not complaining. Maybe you should give the CK underwear a shot.
you're right....i'm wrong...i will switch to "CK" tomorrow because wearing overpriced "designer" underwear makes you a better person.
ReplyDeleteall i was doing was bustin his chops cuz he wears "CK" and actually refers to it as "CK"
and I think all she was doing was busting your chops back-no big deal
ReplyDeletefor the record... I wear H-A-N-E-S...
ReplyDeleteand they should be referred to as such...
good day.