Today I had the rare treat of scoring a hat trick of bad drivers aimed squarely at my Honda. I say "treat" because on a normal day I witness way more than three shitty driving moves from the lovely citizens of Annapolis where everyone plays America's fastest growing driving game sensation, "I'll Run This Stop Sign Because Of Course He'll Stop." I'm firmly convinced that I have some superpower that allows me, and me alone, to see the invisible stops signs on Annapolis street corners. If bad driving were polygamy, Annapolitans would be Warren Jeffs and I am a 14-year-old girl being held against my will.
I know blogging about bad drivers is about as original as calling George Bush stupid, but I've had it up to here.
Driver no. 1 wouldn't let me merge onto Route 50. Instead of moving into the vacant center lane she obliviously matched my speed (there was line of cars on her bumper) while blabbering on her cell phone. When someone is trapped in the right lane unable to get over I don't mind getting to highway speed and zipping in front of them, in fact that is exactly what acceleration lanes are for. I shouldn't, however, have to gun it to 90 mph to do it. She could have slowed a bit ( or sped up a bit), unless she was receiving direct orders, via the cell phone, to not let me merge.
Driver no. 2 came frighteningly close to T-Boning me as I turned left through an intersection. Sir, if after almost plowing into me because you have blown a red light at 40 mph, you shouldn't stare me down.
Driver no. 3 was... aww forget it. Let me stop complaining; we all encounter poor drivers. Plus, I have to go take out the garbage because Amanda just opened the can and it smells like death.
Thats karma buddyboy!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is the little old lady in a resort town, who not only doesn't see the big red and white YIELD sign, but also doesn't see a big ole Ford Taurus...
ReplyDeleteDude, the past two days on my commute a car almost ran the same stop sign... I mean at 25 mph, expecting everyone else to stop. Until yesterday I'd never seen that happen (in the 8 months I've driven this route); I think the stop facing their direction might be askew.
ReplyDeleteYour Warren Jeffs sidebar seems to be more analogous to statutory rape than polygamy, but congrats on upping the ewwww-factor either way.
As a recently converted (re-converted?) hypermiler, go easy on those who are slow in the right lane. Unless they are on their cell phone; then they deserve no mercy. it was probably Dick Cheney and his oil-company minions that were directing her to not let you merge...
st4rbux- It was not the fact that she was going slow in the right lane, in fact she wasn't really going slow. It was the fact that she could easily move over then back so I could merge and that she was indeed on her bloody cell phone. I too have been planting myself in the slow lane at a reasonable speed during my commute because, thanks to my stupidity in January, I can't afford to be pulled over.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Warren Jeffs reference, you are right,I thought the same thing, but thought it creepy enough to use polygamy.