While flipping channels I passed an infomercial for the amazing Slendertone Belt that effortlessly contracts your flabby tummy to six-pack sexiness. Who buys this stuff? Wait, I answered my own question. It's the same gullible dopes who think those Bigfoot guys in Georgia are for real and who think they are going to pay for their kid's college education with their mass-produced action figure collection and twelve Albert Pujols rookie cards.
Memo to these lazy exercisophobes: There are no shortcuts. Even if the "Electro Muscle Stimulation" does work as advertised (the technology is used successfully in physical rehab centers) your best case scenario is harder abs hidden under your belly fat. I imagine buried somewhere amidst the testimonials and discount prices you can find the truth-telling fine print about varying results and best results accompanying a balanced diet and steady exercise. Duh. Now if you'll excuse me it's time for my Thighmaster workout.
I don't know quite why... but I feel compelled to admit this... somewhere within my home are the following: The HandyStitch, Blue Blockers, and Rear Vision sunglasses... in the landfill are: Auri car polish (my Dad actually gave that crud a chance, I wouldn't), and OxyClean (but we bought it at Sam's Club, not from Billy Mays, btw that crud is worthless too)
ReplyDeleteHoly hell, Blu Blockers? That was one of the best/worst commercials ever. OxyClean was one product that I considered purchasing. Glad to know I didn't pull the trigger on a waste.
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