Before diving in, let me recap how we got here. In 2016, a female toplessness advocate (Boy, did I get into the wrong business!) challenged Ocean City to allow women to go topless since men are allowed to go shirtless. The city petitioned Maryland's attorney general for clarification on the ordinance currently on the books. Following nine months without any word on the matter from the AG, the O.C. Beach Patrol has decided they neither can, nor will ask topless female sunbathers to cover up.
Predictably, like any remotely controversial subject, the OCBP's decision has sparked a firestorm on the internet. As usual in these contentious times, battle lines seem to be forming along classic polarizing lines. People in favor of covering up are quickly labeled conservative prudes and advocates of "freeing the ta-tas" are painted as crazy and/or disgusting. For me, the line is blurred and the answer lies in that great gray area in between. Of course, maybe I'm just a crazy, disgusting prude.
My eight-year-old daughter, Grace, and I spend tons of time at the beach. It is one of our favorite places on the planet. One of the few benefits to my retail work schedule is it affords us the opportunity to hit Ocean City about once a week on a weekday away from the higher volume of weekend tourist traffic. About three or four years ago, Grace asked me why she had to wear a shirt on the beach if boys didn't. I did not have a good answer for her. I'm sure I mumbled something about private parts or that's just the way it is. She didn't push the issue, but it has bugged me since that I didn't have a better answer. This recent news story brought the question back to mind. So, really, what is the difference? Why shouldn't females go topless? It seems we are mostly talking the nipple. That's all that many bathing suits cover on a woman. Plenty of tops show ample breast save the nipple. What makes a woman's nipples naughtier than mine? (Now you're thinking about my nipples, aren't you? My eyes are up here.)
The difference is that we have sexualized the female breast. I'm sure there is some argument to be made about America's puritanical past, but when did the breast become something we have to cover? It seems like it is one of those things that has "always been that way." Other cultures, don't cover all the time. I'm sure there are tribal cultures where breasts are rarely covered. Why taboo here? Yes, the breast can be an erogenous, sexual body part, but it can be for men as well. Yes, advertisers trade on the notion that boobs are sensual mysteries to be discovered or uncovered. Don't get me wrong, I often find a woman dressed to leave something to the imagination sexier than one that lets it all hang out. But these are constructs that we have put in place. The body is so much more than a pleasure device. Breast-feeding without covering is thankfully being normalized and de-stigmatized; this can be the next logical progression.
Though it is not a direct line, this topic relates to how we treat and talk about women's bodies. Assuming women "must" cover up is not much different than women "asking" to be raped for dressing provocatively or girls being sent home from school because the way they are dressed is distracting the boys. A woman's body is hers and hers alone. Despite the litany of romance novels that line my store's shelves that might imply otherwise, a woman's body is not something to be possessed or conquered. I recently read a quote from a lady who mentioned she should be able to, not that she would, walk naked down the street without fear of harassment. And she's right. Nudity is not an automatic invitation to be touched, groped, or even hit on. I'm not advocating being uncovered below the waist, I have to draw the line somewhere, but the point is the female body, as beautiful as it can be, is not a trophy or an instrument. If a woman chooses to go topless or share her body with a number of men and women, it doesn't make her a slut, or disgusting, or lacking in self-respect. It's her choice, not mine or anyone else's. I may not agree with her choice, but, to put it bluntly, it ain't my business.
I have been asked if I would be upset if Grace saw exposed breasts on the beach. I wouldn't. Amanda and I try to have frank discussions with her about being comfortable in the skin you're in. That said, I would not allow Grace to go topless. Because we also talk about what is best for our family and our beliefs. Hypocritical? Maybe. Until she is an adult it IS my business. When she turns eighteen she can do what she wants.
Finally, I have heard it suggested that if it's equality these topless advocates want, they should press that men have to cover up. I suppose that's one way to go. I don't personally see the big deal about letting ladies hit the beach topless. It's a personal choice. In the same way the existence of gay marriage doesn't mean I have to marry a dude, if I don't want to see topless women I can choose to not go to Ocean City. My freedoms are not being disrespected. I say let the market decide. If enough people stay away from Ocean City because a few women air out their areolas, I would guess some laws would be changed or clarified. If the will of the people, declared through our elected officials, was to cover up then so be it. Until then, ladies, feel free to pop that top.
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