At the bookstore we have quite a diverse mix of employees so there are always interesting conversations to wander in and out of. I'd like your input on one we had last night. If you could fight anyone dead or alive who would it be? Actually, pick one dead and one alive. The debate hinged on whether you would want to fight someone who would be a true challenge or someone who really needed an ass-beating. A sampling of answers from last night:
Andy Warhol- because it was just a damn soup can!
Hannibal - because he was a badass who rode elephants and would be a tough draw
Donald Trump and Ann Coulter -for general obnoxiousness
Hitler- obvious (but too easy an answer)
I almost had one guy convinced that I would pick Orville Redenbacher because my family started Jiffy Pop and our empire would have been larger if not for that kindly old popcorn peddler.
My alive pick is Jared from Subway. How many calories in this knuckle sandwich?
My dead pick is Elvis Presley. Jumpsuits, jack?
7 comments:
my alive pick is dean cooledge whom none of you know but he pulled his kid off my soccer team after we had already registered and he just need a beating.
my dean pick would be gandhi...noone can possibly be that peaceful...he deserves it
Living: I would say Jagr, but Mom taught me to never hit a lady... so I guess I'd say the guy that wrecked my last car, because my neck still hurts.
second pick Living: Michael Bay, for making a Decepticon into a police car... how do you explain to a four year old that while this ONE cop car is a bad guy, that the rest of them and their uniformed drivers are in fact GOOD GUYS, even though most of them have a heavier right foot than the rest of us.
Dead: I'm drawing a blank... I'm confident that anyone deserving of a severe tail whipping is getting just that in hell
wow i suppose i should say my DEAD pick is gandhi...i'd love to see how pissed off i could make him and what sort of violence i could induce
Alive : Those few idiots who were taping a third grader of mine drowning in O.C. inlet instead of HELPING.
Dead: I agree with Rob. They are getting a good ass whipping in hell.
This is straight out of Fight Club, and Tyler Durden said Ghandi at one point... in FC they were looking for a good fight, or looking for someone who needed to experience their pseudo-enlightenment via violence -- they weren't looking for people who deserved to be beat down. (Except maybe when Tyler said "my father", oh and Shatner...)
So... I'll say Al Gore. I think I'd be at a disadvantage (he's a big guy, isn't he?), but I think I'd get to know the man better. I think we might find some common ground. I'd like to wipe the arrogant smirk off his face, but I wouldn't bet on it.
And as for dead people... Churchill. I'd like to drink with him first, then fight.
st4rbux, I had the same thought about Hemingway-drink with him, then fight
Dead - Charles Bukowski, I could probably take the drunken bastard and he'd by me a drink...maybe not.
Living - Michael Chertoff, how about that. I'd like to see where I stand on his terror scale!
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