In Tyler We Trust

Trust is a tricky notion.  In interpersonal relationships, for example, trust is essential to success.  It is an investment that must be earned.  In so many other areas of our lives, however, we have to invest trust in, or at least begrudgingly hand it over, to complete strangers that we hope will earn it.  If we didn't, we couldn't function or operate in a normal lifestyle.  We trust that the subway driver is sober.  We trust that our mechanic tightened all the lug nuts properly when he rotated our tires.  We trust that the kid working the drive-thru didn't slap his Little Mac on our Big Mac before he hands us the bag through the window.  If we didn't invest this trust, we would never leave the house.  Or maybe you should leave your house right now!  Are you sure your builder used enough nails in your roof?

For parents, doling out trust to someone else to watch over your kids can be difficult.  Not that she can't skin a knee or fall off the swing when I am present (she's done both, now that I think of it), but I make keeping Grace safe my number one mission in life.  Dropping your child off to spend the day with strangers (relatively speaking, as compared to family and friends) can be an astounding investment of trust for parents.  No matter how well-researched and well-reasoned your thought process, you are still placing great faith in others.  You think you are making the right decision, but you can't see everything that goes on at school, or camp, or day care  toddler fight club.  Seriously, day care providers arrested for encouraging and shooting video of kids ages 4-6 fighting each other?  It's enough to drive a helicopter parent to drink. (And isn't that the whole reason we send our kids to places like camp in the first place, so we can enjoy a refreshing adult beverage in peace?) 

At a glance, arrests and a little jail time seem an appropriate punishment for these day "care" providers.  But are we judging these women too harshly?  Surely, I can't be the only one that was told by my parents on occasion (or dozens of occasions) when fighting with my brother to, "Take it outside!"  My parents couldn't have thought that we went outside to settle our dispute with chalk drawing or dandelion picking.  They just wanted us out of their hair.  Hell, maybe they broke out the Super 8 and secretly made black market kid fight films.  We already witness our kids duking it out with their siblings, why not get a little something out of it? Fellow parents, are we outraged at these babysitters because they slaked their blood lust with the violence of children or because we didn't think of it first? 

Hear me out.  There are lots of reasons why it makes sense to make the whole process more transparent,  to drag it out of the dark, to officially sanction toddler fight clubs.  First, today's parenting experts advise us to spend our money on experiences for our children not toys, gadgets and trinkets.  Talk about an experience!  There is nothing like "experiencing" swallowing  your own blood or putting back a dislocated finger.  And, look, those kids were going to lose most of those teeth anyway.  We build a whole army of baby Thoreaus learning about themselves in the proverbial "woods" long before their tenth birthdays.  That kind of self-discovery is invaluable.  Speaking of our money, who among us couldn't use a little more pocket change?  Come on, let your entrprenuerial spirit shine.  We sanction the bouts, set odds and watch the money pour in.  It's really no more complex than organizing  fantasy football or our March Madness pools.  Now, I don't wanna brag, but if all Grace's unintentional(?) headbutts, accidental knees to the groin, and elbows to the nose over the years are any indication, I might have a contender on my hands.   So, come on, let's build some tiny octagons and get this thing rolling.  You can squeeze one more thing on the schedule.  Dance, Scouts, Choir, Soccer, Fight Club...at least you can trust that you know what's going on.  What could go wrong?
*May this post in no way discourage any of you from bringing your children to our house for a play date, Grace's birthday party, etc.  My wife is quite a normal and sensible person.