It's official: I'm old. On our way through the mall today to grab some greeting cards and some Chick-Fil-A we had to dodge these roaming packs of teenage mallrats. I haven't seen a collection of goofballs, hoodlums and half-wits like that since KNK Vending broke up. You had the redneck dudes wearing their uniforms of jean shorts, oversize t-shirts and bad beards.
Then you had the crew that looked like they were there for the Addams Family reunion; dyed hair, top hats, and even that T-shirt that reads "I'm the one your parents warned you about." How rebellious. There was even a guy that I hope was actually coming from a boxing match because he was wearing real Boxing trunks and boxing boots. All he was missing was gloves and a mouthpiece.
Last, but not least, let's not forget the teenage girls who dress like they are 35 not 15. Carrot Top has more material than the skirts some of these girls were wearing. I'll say it now even though I'll probably be made a liar in 15 or so years- If we have a daughter she will not leave the house dressed like that. Why on Earth does a 13-year-old need to wear high heels and a minikirt to the movies on a Saturday afternoon? If this all makes me a fuddy duddy at 31, then so be it. And while your at it, turn off that daggone rock n roll devil music will ya?
8 comments:
be a teacher and make a difference
they are probably nice kids... stop and say hello, shake teir hands and offer them some chocolate covered pretzels.
I have to disagree.
I might not have been clear earlier, but those girls are not dressing like they're 35. they are probably dressing like the 18-21 year olds I've seen around the Maryland campus. and that's just shameful. yeah, they really ought to stop. stop, just stop, you damn coeds.
the point is, I don't know any 35 year old women that dress like that, and that's why you're wrong. so very, very wrong.
Killer is right: be a teacher and make a difference. unfortunately I have no idea what he means by that, at least not as it relates to provocatively-dressed 15 year olds.
it's self deprecation at it's best...i am still idealistic enough to believe that i do play an important positive role in at least one child's life that i teach. obviously, i hope it's way more than one. but the implication is that since teachers CAN and often do play these positive roles that maybe some of these kids would stop being so stupid. it also goes back to poor parenting, which we can't control other than to legislate who is able to conceive a child. hmmmmmm, a license to procreate...i believe i feel a rant of my own coming on...
From Rob: stop and say hello, shake teir hands and offer them some chocolate.
I hate to disagree but these kids have been trained from birth to scream stranger danger if someone looks twice at them. Offer them pretzels and you will be hauled off to pediphile jail faster than A. can run and get bail money.
This all reminds me of a line from Empire Records. "Shock me, Shock me. Shock me with that deviant behavior." These kids don't know it but they are going through a phase. Been there. Done that. Soon they will be balding accountants and happy young marrieds with college degrees, plans for the futures and shaking their heads at the next set of mall rats. Which brings me to this:
Malls across the country are banning hoards of unaccompanied teens after....say...4pm and have found that revenue has skyrocketed. Your mall may be next. Mall rats may be a footnote in histtory.
Mary
And Bry....you would make an absolutely awesome fantastic teacher!!!!
Aunt Mary,
My suggestion to offer chocolate covered pretzels was actually a joke, wrapped in an obscure reference to the movie 'Mallrats'. Sorry for the confusion. I won't elaborate because it is actually a pretty crude scene from the movie, but it is funny.
Rob
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