Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Genies, Fistfuls of Applesauce and 'O' Captain, My Captain

Diaper Genie I need only one wish granted- Please start working again. Do you have an expiration date I was unaware of? Should I have purchased the extended warranty? Has 15 months of subduing funk finally brought you to your knees? My little Stinkerbell can fill a diaper with a load strong enough to stop a freight train, but usually the Diaper Genie contains it with no problem. Not anymore. The other day, not long after changing Grace, I returned to her bedroom only to be nearly flattened by the stink. I immediately searched the room for the gangrenous, rotten-broccoli-eating ferret that someone had obviously unleashed in our house. My search turned up neither a rotting ferret, nor a year old, sulphur dipped hunk of Gouda so I turned my extra large sniffer towards the next obvious suspect. Mr. Genie you have served us well, however, I feel it is time for an honorable discharge. So, I'm off to rub another lamp, but before I go here are a few other random notes from Grace Land and beyond:

-Most folks use utensils to eat their applesauce. Not my G. Though she's perfectly capable of using a spoon (ok perfectly may be a stretch, but her manual dexterity is pretty good) for other soft foods, applesauce gets the finger treatment. Never mind that from the moment she scoops the applesauce up it is a race to get her fist to her mouth before all the sauce squeezes from between her knuckles.

-I'm finding Grace really is a fan of slapstick comedy. I often let her "knock me down" or bowl me over with the slightest of taps. She loves my exaggerated reaction and runs over to whack me again. Tonight, Amanda accidentally squirted Grace in the face with water from one of her bath toys. Grace laughed heartily and continued to do so every time we squirted her chest, arms and face again. Maybe I'll get her a seltzer bottle for her birthday. Honestly, I think she might howl with laughter if we smacked her in the face with a pie.

- I was happy to see that the Washington Capitals named Alex Ovechkin captain. Ovie is the heart and engine of that team; giving the C to any other player would have seemed disingenuous.

Finally, though I hate all things Redskin, I feel bad for Jim Zorn. He may have been a disaster as head coach, but he was far classier than those around him. Zorn kept his head up and mouth shut while wee little Napoleon Snyder tried to humiliate him out of town. Congrats, Jim. It may not have ended the way you like, but at least you get to walk away with your dignity and several million severance dollars.

1 comment:

Bob Wert said...

Perhaps Mr. Snyder could receive a Diaper Genie pellet !