Friday, May 18, 2018

Here We Go...Again?

It is no secret that fan is short for "fanatic." We sports fanatics sometimes tend to get a little crazy, often care a little too much.  Within fandom exists varying degrees of fanaticism.  The casual viewer, the follower who cares (but not too much), the fan that cheers, yet can keep his head about him when his team faces defeat. Then there's the alarmists. Cubs and Red Sox followers wore their doom and gloom like a badge of honor until each team broke its curse.  Browns fans wallow in Cleveland's futility.  Looking for the finest breed of alarmists? I give you fans of the Washington Capitals.  Over the course of the last thirty years, Capitals fans have buckled in for a roller coaster hell ride as our team has pummeled our hockey souls. I've documented the heartbreaking moments far too often in these very pages.

This season we Caps fans were treated to finally seeing our boys in red vanquish the hated Penguins. Faced with the prospect of actually seeing Washington claw closer to a first Cup, we have allowed this foreign substance called optimism to creep into our collective psyche.  Now that Tampa Bay has erased a 2-0 series deficit by winning two games in D.C., Caps fans can't hose off the good vibes fast enough. We are allowed to slip back into our comfortable feeling of worry. Nevermind that the series is TIED. Checking in with friends, internet comment sections, and radio callers, I have taken the temperature of Caps fans. Let's just say other hockey fans, the rational, normal kind, must be laughing at us. Here's a handing chart so you can check in on your fan status:

Rational, Normal Fan: The series tied at two games apiece after four games is a good place to be against a team as formidable as the Tampa Bay Lightning.
Caps Fan: Oh my god, it's happening again!  They are going to blow ANOTHER 2-0 series lead!

Rational, Normal Fan: The tactical chess match between these two coaches that has developed over the course of this series has been interesting and informative.
Caps Fan: Barry Trotz can't coach his way out of a paper bag. Why is he still Here?

Rational, Normal Fan: Washington has to be more stubborn on the penalty kill, getting back to the shutdown PK they possessed earlier in the playoffs.
Caps Fan: Steven Stamkos is a hockey god whose power play prowess makes him the next in a long line of hockey gods that routinely crush us!

Rational, Normal Fan: The Capitals have badly outshot the Lightning in these last two games.  If they keep up the barrage they will break through.
Caps Fan: We shoot high and wide more than Imperial Stormtroopers.  We are doing that thing again where we consistently fire shots into the goalie's chest.  Andrei Vasilevskiy has grown into an invincible wall that will never be penetrated again!

Rational, Normal Fan: Andrei Vasilevskiy is his team's best penalty killer.
Caps Fan: Our power play has abandoned us and will never score again!

Rational, Normal Fan: The Capitals need to stay out of the penalty box.
Caps Fan: Lars Eller is a piece of human garbage that should not leave the press box for Game Five.

Rational, Normal Fan: Best two out of three from here. What an exciting series.
Caps Fan: I know how this movie ends. Caps are gonna Cap.  Stupid choking dogs!

In other words, take a deep breath.  If this team truly is different after slaying Pittsburgh, the next three games could be fun.  If not, we'll toss this season on the scrap heap of other broken postseason dreams.  Either way, I'm sure we'll derive some manner of satisfaction.