Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Is this what middle-aged feels like?

What's the difference between 37 and 100?  Not much in my neighborhood, at least as it pertains to age.  To my college age neighbors I likely seem an ancient 37.  Yesterday, I got out the door a little later than usual for my morning walk so I was walking among students heading to Salisbury University for class.  A blond bicycle gang, more Mean Girls than Hell's Angels, rolled past trailing a cloud of perfume and smug indifference.  Athletes jogged by making my "fitness" walk look meager and pointless.  Surrounded by hoodies and skateboards, pony tails and short shorts, I felt as awkward and uncool as I did when I actually attended the university twenty years ago.

The students eyed me warily.   My first generation iPod may as well have been a Walkman, my white daddy sneakers sandals with black socks.  My backpack, worn to keep my pockets free of keys, phone and wallet, had them wondering whether I was an old student or some sort of creeper.  I'd have been less conspicuous had I donned a trench coat and shouted "Pervert Alert.  Pervert Alert."

I spotted an older gentleman, maybe mid-50's, walking on the opposite sidewalk.  I searched his eyes for a hint of old man solidarity only to be spurned.  His eyes conveyed not solidarity, but contempt as he lumped me in with the other backpack-toters.  I longed to stop him and explain that I was not one of the punks that pukes in his yard every weekend.  That I don't leave the neighborhood covered in broken beer bottles.  I'm on his side.  Alas, I stayed silent as he blew past.  But my encounter brought me to my senses.  Why did I care what these kids thought?  I chastised myself for ever feeling awkward and uncool even when I was in school.  The heck with these kids.  And the heck with that older guy.  No longer a young punk and not yet an old man, it's my time to feel comfortable right where I am.  But those damn kids better stay off of my lawn.

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