Sunday, April 24, 2016

On to Round Two

We don't yet know when the series will begin, but that won't stop me from starting the Caps v Pens chatter.  It's never too early, Caps fans.

Fact: I hate the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Opinion: They are Grade A, USDA-certified, notarized, card-carrying douchenozzles.

Fact: The Washington Capitals were the best     team in hockey for the first half of the season.
Opinion: They are no longer the best team in hockey.

Fact: The Pittsburgh Penguins were the best team in hockey during the second half of the season.
Opinion: They still are.

Fact: I am worried about this series.
Opinion: You should be too.

Fact: My friend Eddie has always been, and remains, the sunniest Caps fan I know, always finding hope among springtime doom and gloom.
Opinion: We should applaud his optimism and follow his lead.

Fact: The Penguins will be called for some penalties this series.
Opinion: The Capitals will be called for many more.

Fact: My playoff beard continues to grow.
Opinion: It still resembles a defective Chia Pet.

Fact: My friend Roberto thinks Barry Trotz looks like George "The Animal" Steele's little brother.
Opinion: It would be awesome if, during Game 1, Trotz took a huge bite of the turnbuckle-like  pad at the end of the bench.

Fact: This series will garner much national coverage.
Opinion: I hope on the national broadcasts we get more Kenny Albert and less of the more celebrated Doc Emrick.

Fact: We fans will cheer like crazy and adhere to all our nutty superstitions despite the fact neither will have any bearing on the outcome of the games.
Opinion: We must never stop Rocking the Red.

Fact: In five games against the Penguins this season, Alex Ovechkin had zero points.
Opinion: In this series, The Great 8 will elevate his game in an epic battle with Sidney Crosby.

Fact: I was convinced that today I would be writing about fretting over a Game 7.
Opinion: In about two weeks, I will be writing about fretting over a Game 7.

Fact: There will be much teeth-gnashing, nail-biting, curse-pondering, hockey gods-begging watching the games through our fingers over the next couple weeks.
Opinion: We would not have it any other way.

Fact: The Caps CAN beat the Pens and win the series.
Opinion: The Caps WILL beat the Pens and win the series.

Fact: I've been wrong before...

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