If not now, when?

I have been ruminating for days on a Caps/Pens blog post.  With so much history, much of it lopsided, there are not many fresh angles to take.  Pens almost always win, Caps dominate a game but lose, puck deflects in off defenseman's skate, no-name cheesedick in black and gold becomes a hero, hot goalie, blah, blah, blah.  Perhaps a deeper topic will emerge over the course of the series.  Until then, my brief fact/opinion preview of Capitals v. Tundra Pigeons:

Fact: Practicing mindfulness teaches us to live in the present moment, existing unburdened by the past or the future.
Opinion: In regards to the this series, I presently wallow in the past and fear the future.

Fact: Injured Penguins defenseman Chris Letang will not play in this series.
Opinion: Even without Letang, the Pens boast the douchiest roster in the league.

Fact: Despite being a whiny brat, Sidney Crosby fearlessly works in the dirtiest parts of the rink.
Opinion: His favorite "dirty parts of the rink" to work in are other players' crotches.

Fact: This is the tenth postseason series in which the Caps and Pens have met.  The Penguins have won eight of the previous nine.
Opinion: The hockey gods do not care about the law of averages, being "due", whose "time" it is.

Fact: Alex Ovechkin is 0-2 in the playoffs versus the Penguins.
Opinion:  Ovi and his mates have never been better equipped to defeat the Pens.

Fact: Good things happen when you go to the net.
Opinion: The Penguins do this better/ more often than the Caps.

Fact: The Pens are fast.
Opinion:  Having just dispatched the speedy Leafs will help the Caps.

Fact: There are two schools of thought regarding the Capitals first round series with the Leafs. One: such a close series versus the eighth seed was tiring and shows how vulnerable Washington is versus Pittsburgh. Or...the tough series made the Caps battle-hardened and ready for anything the Pens bring.
Opinion: We are waaaaay overthinking this.

Fact: Nate Schmidt played well while replacing the injured Karl Alzner. 
Opinion: When Alzner returns, Schmidt should stay in the lineup as well.

Fact: The Caps have twice (1992 and 1995) blown 3-1 series leads to the Pens. (Remember when we though that was as bad as it could get? Hahahahahaha, we were so young and foolish.)
Opinion: They won't have to worry about that problem in this series.

Fact: Pierre Maguire, the Doug Llewelyn of NHL hockey, will be interviewing a hero from the winning team at series' end.
Opinion: That player will be wearing.....Red.
Fact: Typing it doesn't make it true.

Wednesday Mailbag

On the morning of Caps/Leafs Game Four, my inbox is jammed with letters from readers asking about (surprise!) Game 4.  Let's dive in and answer a few questions from actual That's No Moon readers.  (It's called a plot device people.  Did you never watch Viewer Mail?)

Hi Bryan,  Given that he appears to be getting outcoached through three games, is #InTrotzWeTrust still a thing? - Doubtful in D.C.

Thanks for the question, Doubtful.  Yes, Barry Trotz seems to be getting outcoached thus far, with CSNWashington analyst Alan May going so far as to say that Toronto head coach Mike Babcock is "running the Capitals" right now.  Yes, Trotz seems too caught up in matchups, instead of trying to use his teams superior talent to dictate play.  Yes, one of my major criticisms of former Caps coach Bruce Boudreau was his inability to adapt over the course of a seven game series.  We'll see if Trotz and staff can and/or will.  Yes, Trotz, despite his resume, his professionalism, and saying all the right things, resembles a man who is just trying to keep his head above water as he begins to comprehend that he had no clue what it would be like to be swept up in the wave of curse that is this franchise.  But, yes, #InTrotzWeTrust is still a thing because I paid a lot of money for all those bumper stickers.

Hey B, longtime listener, first time caller.  The Caps gave up four goals Wednesday night.  Braden Holtby looks more concerned with hair flips and water bottle squirts than stopping pucks.  'Bout time to go to Grubauer, don't you think?  I'll hang up and listen for your answer. - Overreacting in Odenton

Uh, Overreacting, I'm not sure you understand how blogs, mailbags, or goaltending work.  The first goal took a fluke bounce onto a 40-goal scorer's stick.  The second goal was deflected.  The third goal was scored only after Holtby made an incredible save from point blank range with his defenders out of position, and the fourth goal occurred on a deflection in the waning seconds of a Toronto penalty on a fresh sheet of ice.  Holtby made many impressive saves and one daring (stupid if doesn't work) poke check forty feet from his crease.  Thanks, but even with his tics and peculiarities, I'm riding with the Holtbeast.

Hello Bryan, Do you remember the exact moment you began hating yourself for being a Capitals fan? - Curious in Clarendon

No, I've been spending more time trying to deduce where this franchise went wrong.  The ineptitude in key moments is uncanny.  The lack of confidence in clutch opportunities is bizarre.  The wilting under pressure is nearly inexplicable.  Did Abe Polin build the original Capital Centre on ancient Indian burial grounds?  Did Vincent Price once give Nick Backstrom a cursed tiki idol when he vacationed in Hawaii?  Did Alex Ovechkin sell his soul for 700 goals and zero Cups?

Bryan, Supposing the Caps limp by the Maple Leafs, what is the probability Washington will get smoked by the Penguins in Round Two? - Resigned in Reston

I'm going to let my guy K2SO field that one:

Good morning Bryan,  Do you think fans will be excited when the Caps raise their latest President's Trophy banner to the Verizon Center rafters next fall?  Asking for a friend. - Ted  Fred in Washington

*sigh*

Beezer, If the Capitals lose Game 4 is it okay to burn all my red hats, jerseys, and pompoms tonight, or does fan code require waiting until the actual end of the series? - Kevin in Indiana

Put the cap back on the gas can, Sparky.  I say Washington wins tonight to even the series.  I'd like to say they will handle their business the way the Sharks handled theirs while down two games to one to a young, talented upstart, but I see no way the Caps hang seven goals on the Leafs.  As great as a dominating performance would be, we're likely looking at another back and forth, one goal game.  Heck, at this point, just for the sheer weirdness of it, I'd love to see seven overtime games; make it as a close a series as possible.  I think the Caps win Game 5, lose Game 6 back in Toronto, and return home for another historically-unkind, fraught-with-danger, watch-what-happens, pressure cooker of a Game 7.  As much as we bemoan it, would we fans want it any other way?

Beginning of the Beginning, or Beginning of the End?

And so it begins.  Like Opening Day and pollen-induced sneezing attacks, Spring brings with it another NHL postseason.  Writing about the Washington Capitals' hopes, battles, and failures has become an annual routine which I simultaneously enjoy and despise.  So many Aprils begin with promise only to crumble into disappointment.  Each year we fans can enumerate the reasons it will be different, while wondering deep down if it actually can be.  The reasons for the Caps' demises are sometimes surprising, sometimes predictable, yet always expected.  Each Spring the team treats its collective fan psyche like a United Airlines passenger in need of "re-accommodation."  With only a couple minor changes, last season's postseason preview could serve as today's.  The eternal question remains: Will 2017 be different, or will this team add another verse to the franchise's long-running hit song "The Second Round Blues"?  My notes for the first round matchup with the Toronto Maple Leafs:

Fact: The Caps and Leafs have never met in the playoffs.
Opinion: By series end, I will have added a new team to my Love to Hate list.

Fact: Leafs coach Mike Babcock has led teams to one Stanley Cup victory and two gold medals.
Opinion: So what?  In Trotz We Trust.

Fact: With Game 2 scheduled for Saturday night, an Easter Epic is possible.
Opinion:  Easter Epics suck.

Fact: Toronto is the media capital of the NHL.  The spotlight on this series will be bright.
Opinion:  Alex Ovechkin loves playing in Canada and will rise to the occasion.

Fact: Toronto rookie center Auston Matthews had a sensational season, finishing with 40 goals.
Opinion: Auston, meet Jay Beagle.  For the next two weeks, he'll be closer to you than your underwear.

Fact:  Olaf Kolzig, during his 1998 playoff run, posted the best postseason goaltending performance in Capitials' history.
Opinion: To win the Cup, The Holtbeast will have to surpass Godzilla's outstanding play.

Fact: The abundant available puns regarding sweeping/raking/crunching/blowing away the Leafs are difficult for this dad joker to resist.
Opinion: Shouldn't they be called the Toronto Maple Leaves?

Fact: This Leafs team is young, fast, and talented.
Opinion: This series would be better with Tie Domi.

Opinion: My beard is better than ever.
Fact: I'm grasping for good omens.

Fact: This season, the Caps earned their third President's Trophy.  No team has won three without winning a Stanley Cup.
Opinion: How you view this fact illustrates how you envision the next two months of hockey.

Fact: By regular season record, Washington is far superior to Toronto.
Opinion:  The playoffs are different.  Washington likes to make things difficult. Caps in six games.