AHA! (Warning:Sarcastic Conspiracy Theory That I Don't Really Believe Alert)

I've finally figured it out. The whole oil/gas price "crisis" is nothing more than an elaborate plot to get Americans to drive slower. On our way to Baltimore we passed numerous state-run electronic highway signs that read "Slower Speed Saves Gas". What's next, raising the price of barbecued ribs so we'll cut down fewer trees for napkins?

Proof Americans Are Stupid:

Robin Williams' new movie, RV, was the top-grossing movie this weekend. Seriously? Has anyone seen the commercials for this dog? I remember a time when Robin Williams was funny, but there is no way this isn't the worst movie of all-time.

Life's Little Pleasures, #37

Shouting "O" with 30,000 of your closest friends during the National Anthem at Camden Yards.

Although, I was a bit dissapointed that the Anthem was sung in English. I thought for sure the "Nuestro Himno" would have debuted by now. Kidding, of course.

My lightsaber is bigger than yours.

Thanks to Steve for sending me the link to this Star Wars fan film. It's kind of cool. I'm posting it for my fellow Star Wars geeks. (I wear the label proudly. ) However, if you don't have at least some interest in Star Wars you should probably pass. For instance, I think Amanda was very bored, very early. She didn't make it through the second minute of the five minute movie short. Anyway, enjoy.

Welcome back, Lord Stanley.

A few brief observations after watching playoff hockey for the first time in two years:

-Double Overtime is still supercool.
-Jaromir Jagr is still a wuss.
-The Flyers Suck.
-You don't have to be a "big-name" goalie to be amazing in the playoffs.
-The Flames may lead the Ducks one game to none, but they are in a dead heat in the contest for the NHL's ugliest uniforms.

Here's hoping for eight more weeks of games as good as those we've seen over the first two days.

Why Outer Space? Because We Must.

I've been thinking about America's stagnant manned-flight space program, wondering if it is wise to continue funding it when so many people lack so many things. My answer, of course is a resounding yes. The case can be made that the space program leads to advances in technology and medicine or that we must learn if there is someone else "out there". But none of things are the real reasons we must advance the space program.

Whether we are alone in our vast universe or whether we have fellow citizens in a galactic civilization is irrelevant. We must continue to venture forth because that is the only way to sate the curious human spirit. We seek, we explore, we investigate. Like sailing west from a European seaport or staking a claim to land west of the Mississippi, we must continue pushing outward, searching for new information. We must never tire in our quest for adventure; we must never allow our thirst for knowledge to be quenched.

The price will steep; we will pay not just monetarily, but also with spilled blood and the hardship of the occasional failure. This, however, is a burden worth bearing. Let us be thankful that there is no shortage of men and women eager to be pioneers. Eager to thunder upward, ripping across the heavens, summoning equal parts courage and insanity. Each time they rocket into space, the perfect pairing of man and machine, our astronauts carry with them the hopes, and in some ways, the fates of an entire race. May we always be willing to peer into the darkness and reach, with fingers outstretched, for whatever is next.

Good God, What's That Smell?

This post has been brewing for awhile, but what I saw Thursday put me over the edge. As part of my new position at work I measure and estimate jobs in peoples' homes. I have been in some of the largest, fanciest homes on the river and I have been in some of the low-income, subsidized housing. It' s the latter that I'm going to discuss.

Some of the apartments and rental houses I have entered have been the dirtiest, nastiest places I have ever been. I cannot imagine living in the filth that some of these people live in daily. Believe me, I don't mean messy or dusty. Everybody's house needs some picking up or dusting now and again. I mean full-on foul living conditions. Food and trash strewn about, animal droppings, dirt, bugs. You name it. One house had a pitcher of kool-aid spilled on the floor which looked like it had been left there for a week, all congealed and sticky. I guess it was just walked around as if it were a piece of furniture. The outside is no better; the yards are filled with garbage. Trash that does make it into bags is just piled outside the back door not in the garbage can. I literally look at the ground the whole time I walk through these yards to make sure I don't step in something disgusting or dangerous.

I don't understand how people live like this. Have some dignity and self-respect and clean up after yourselves. These houses are not the nicest places, but I know that before a new tenant moves in the apartments are clean, freshly painted and usually newly carpeted. There is no excuse for them to be trashed like they often are. Now, I know that, fortunately, I make a higher income than these folks and maybe I'd react differently if I had to walk a mile in their shoes. But I don't think I would feel differently because this isn't an economic issue, it is "how you choose to live" issue. Many of the apartments I enter are tidy and clean despite the tenants being in the same income range as the tenants with filthy apartments. One of my co-workers says that you can't help it if you're poor, but you can help it if you're clean. (While I disagree with him that you can't help it if you're poor, that's a whole separate issue that can be discussed later.) I know some of these people probably struggle to put food on the table, but I believe even if I couldn't afford a single bar of soap I would still pick up my trash and sweep the floors. I couldn't bear to lay my head down to rest in some of these places.

Now that I've rambled long enough, let me quickly get to what happened Thursday to push me over the edge. I saw the foulest of the foul. While escorting me to a vacant apartment, the maintenance man warned me that the tenant had abandoned the apartment and "really trashed it". I joked to myself about what trashed meant since I have seen some pretty nasty stuff. I thought 'What did they pee on the floor or something?' Oh, it was worse than that. The odor struck me as soon as I hit the door and when I rounded the corner I saw at least two walls smeared with shit. Literally. That's right, feces, crap, human waste, ol' number 2. How disgusting is that? I quickly turned on my heel and told the man I'd measure from the outside. I just don't get it. Can anybody explain this kind of behavior to me?

Dropping the Anchor

[Side note before I even get started-Could my titles be any cheesier?]

Since the announcement that Katie Couric will take over as CBS Evening News anchor I have read and heard comments about whether a woman should be/could successfully be a network news anchor. People question whether a woman has the neccesary "gravitas". Even Walter Cronkite sidestepped the question by saying that men make really good anchors(I'm paraphrasing). What a bunch of hogwash. There are countless women qualified to anchor the evening news. Truthfully, I don't care who delivers the news as long the news is timely and relevant. (Actually, I suppose the real truth is that I don't care who anchors the evening news because I don't watch the evening news. It's much easier to get news and info from the internet, 24 hour news channels or (gasp!) the newspaper. Long gone are the days of anchormen being the rocks we lean on in a time a national crisis. )

I think where Couric should be carefully examined (and, woo, wouldn't that be fun) is her credibility as an experienced journalist. I think those who do watch the evening news want an anchor that has the experience of being on the frontlines (literally and figuratively) of the stories they report. I don't know much about Couric's experience before she became co-pilot of the Today Show fluffmobile, but I think her candy-coated, Macy's parade hostess persona doesn't do it for some people. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN, LARRY KING, THAT A WOMAN CAN'T HOST THE NETWORK NEWS. Now, excuse me while I go watch reruns of last night' s Daily Show and The Colbert Report because their pseudo-news is funnier than the real stuff.

Big Monday

Today is a pretty sweet day for sports fans: It's baseball's opening day(the Orioles actually won and ESPN must have six games on), there's two hockey games on TV (including a physical, playoff intensity game between the Caps and Canes) and tonight March Madness wraps up with the national championship game. Although, if tonight's game is no better than Saturday's semi-final snoozefests I'll be in bed long before CBS cues "One Shining Moment".

Also, kudos to OLN for remembering that part of selling the NHL's future is celebrating it's past. Tonight, they showed a nice feature on Montreal legend Jean Beliveau. He is great player that I didn't know much about. Their piece will lead me to read more about him.

I'll Take One New Bladder To Go, Please

The ever-accelerating field of medical science continues to fascinate me. I just read this article about engineered organs that is really cool. Using a patient's own cells (taking organ rejection out of the equation) doctors are growing a new, properly functioning bladder. ( Perhaps Killer could put an order in for a larger one so our road trips didn't include such frequent stops.) I do find growing organs in petri dishes a little creepy, but I marvel at and applaud the advances we have made.