Some of you may be wondering how I'm making out in my new position as a Manny/Butler/Pool Boy/Etc. Fear not, I'm doin' alright. I'm very fortunate to have landed in a great situation, For example, today, I helped build a Lego racetrack, played catch, played Wii, went to the movies and went swimming. Not a bad gig if you can get it. Some of my other "duties" thus far: playing tennis, firing Nerf dart guns, painting birdhouses, helping craft a medieval sword and shield and monitoring the Slip 'n Slide. Oh, there is other stuff (driving, learning to maintain the pool, helping with homework), but those responsibilities pale in comparison to the fun I have hanging out with and helping the Z-man. I've also been masquerading as a handyman. I've fixed window hardware, hung stuff, and even repaired the garage door opener. It's almost like I know what I'm doing.
I do, however, miss books. I've been reading a bunch because we went over two weeks without cable. (And I didn't die from lack of TV exposure. Shocking.) But I still miss books. I miss talking about them with customers and co-workers. I even miss ( a little) setting displays of books. I was never a great merchandiser of books, but it was fun to get a little creative when building displays. What I don't miss is selling books. The actual interaction with clueless customers was sometimes enough to make you want to gouge out an eye with a screwdiver if only because it would be less painful than trying to help some asshat find a book. Sample dialogue from the customer service desk:
Asshat Customer (AC): You're gonna hate me, I have a stupid question.
Me: Too late for that. What's you're question?
AC: Well, I saw a book on TV this morning and I'd like to find it, but I was too stupid/lazy to write down the relevant information. Can you help me find it?
Me:You bet. Do you know the title?
AC: No, it was about politics and had a red cover and I think it had The in the title.
Me:Do you know the author?
AC:No, but it was a woman. I think. Wait, it could have been a man. Or a chimpanzee.
Me:You saw this just this morning, not twelve years ago, right? What show was it? I can search it that way.
AC: Oh, you know the one on in the morning. The Early Today America Show. You know, the one with the weatherman.
After ten minutes of fruitless keyword searching...
AC: Oh, there it is on that display there.
Me: Oh that book about religion with the blue cover? The one that is nothing like your description?
I could go on, but who needs that? Certainly not those who have lived it. Instead, I think I'll go for another lap in the pool.
5 comments:
which one?
bet you don't miss the 'puking in aisle 10' though, do you?
and yes, for the record, I jest because I'm totally jealous.
Wait -- MONITORING the slip and slide?
I am also totally jealous.
whoa, monitoring the slip n slide is not as easy as it...oh who I am kidding, life is good
Finally, we each have the same dream job and we're on nearly on opposite ends of the country...what fun is that? Why didn't we add Manny's to the whole Two-Guys idea?
A few things...
...is it a community pool? If so, you gotta give MILF/hot chick/lifeguard updates. Give your readers an idea of the difficulty of your job. BTW, I've got jack in that catergory at our pool this year.
Legos...the fun never ends.
WII - Do yourself a favor right now! If he doesn't already have it , run out and buy him the Lego Indiana Jones game. The Lego games are great fun! If you do this, it would also be a good idea to institute nap time again...so you can play more.
Have you gotten hurt playing NERF guns yet. You, like me, seem to be prone to stupid injuries. Though soft and squishy, a NERF dart to the eye is painful and dangerous. In your retreat, you may also run face first into a wall or stub your toe badly. Give your readers the idea of how truly dangerous and heroic a role you're playing. I've nearly broken my foot to make a two-pad stack, sprained an ankle, given Felix a black eye, and his first serious blow to the nuts while playing indoor hockey.
Midevial sword making...I never would have known you were a blacksmith! Reveal your hidden talents. Nows a great time to start working on the kids Haloween costume.
As for the slip and slide...two things...blown out knee and bersidic(sp) elbow. You've got balls. You're an awfully big man to be throwing youself purposefully to the ground. Stupidity or courage?
Together, we can eduacate the public to the greatness and perils of being a manny.
In all seriousness though, don't get lazy on your free time. I always thought that this would be a great oppurtunity to work on both writing and reading and well...I've failed, though not miserably.
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