Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'd Rather Have Coal In My Stocking.

Working in a book store has many great benefits including seeing at least one new book per day that I'd like to read. Of course, you must take the good with the bad. Here are nine current titles that scare the heck out of me:

Thank You and You're Welcome
A self improvement guide from Kanye West.

Little Book of Pandemics:50 of the World's Most Virulent Plagues and Infectious Diseases
A germophobic hypochondriac's worst nightmare. I'm wearing latex gloves while reading it.

Going Rogue
Duh.

Stealth Germs Inside Your Body
I always figured I was allergic to myself.

The Morning Show Murders
Mystery fiction from Al Roker. I understand the first victim was a dozen doughnuts.

Howard Dean's Prescription for Real Healthcare Reform
(Shiver)

New Dawn:Your Favorite Authors on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga
Because not everybody was lucky enough to dream up glittery emo vampires.

The Manga Bible
Thanks, but I'll take my Scripture (not that I've been reading much of it lately) in something other than Japanese comic book style.

The Elf on the Shelf
Use the creepy elf doll to scare your kids straight for the holiday season.

Monday, November 16, 2009

You Betcha!

So, tonight I was able to read a bit of Sarah Palin's Going Rogue (on shelves Tuesday) and it is awesome. And by awesome, I mean so bad that it's good. Sort of like the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Commando or a stinky fart. This opinion has nothing to do with political leanings or the book's content, it's all about the writing. It's true that I would rather discover that Glenn Beck is my illegitimate half-brother than spend an afternoon with Sarah Palin, but I might read her book cover to cover. The first paragraph alone is filled with enough cheese ("autumn bouquet", "small town America") to lure me in. I also need to say here, despite the fact that I don't personally care for Mrs. Palin, I hope we sell the shit out of this book. I also hope the publisher has contacted Revlon, because we are going to need more lipstick for this pig.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Movie Review Haiku

National Treasure 2:

Okay, As long as
You do not stop to ponder
How preposterous.